36 – Cry Your Eyes Out

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Cry your eyes out as we proudly present a worldwide first this month: chips salted and seasoned with your own tears. Yes, you read that right. Your own tears.

It’s very simple: the salt in your tears provides a unique flavour and adds an unmatched piquancy to what are already (of course) brilliant thrice-cooked chips.

How does this work? Well I’m not going to give the game away entirely – as ever, you’ll have to come to the Sausage to get the full experience – but I’ll say this: first we deliver your dish to your table (Emu steak and chips for this special meal) and then you cry over them to add the flavour.

And should you need assistance to extract your tears, we are offering three different ways to help you. Again, I’m only giving limited information here how we do that but I can summarise as follows:

  • Beauty: for those of you where a particular image is enough to bring you to tears;
  • Emotions: a subtle whisper in the ear from one of our waiters and we promise you that will be enough;
  • Pain: don’t think too hard about this, but trust us, it works.

And if all that fails, we can also offer the Chill Approach: if you end up needing this then you’ll soon wish you had selected one of the above.

You’ve never tasted anything like this but you’ll cry out for more.