37 – April Menu


This month’s  menu sees two new Mains and two new Desserts, including a worldwide first:

  • Paint it Black: our homage to the Stones in the form of Blackened Snapper with Blackened Vegetables and squid ink jus. Black is indeed the new black.
  • Emu Steak with Your Tear-salted Chips: we can’t do justice to this hear so read about this in our separate post. You won’t see anything like this on any other menu anywhere in the world. So it would be a crying shame if you don’t try this.
  • African-imported Baobab Fruit Crumble: The nutritionists tells us baobab fruit provides increased energy levels, boosts the immune system, assists mental clarity and improves sleep patterns. We think it just tastes damn good with our crumble.
  • Baked Alaska Smoked Sausage Style: Don’t ask, just eat it.

And as last month’s Moules Marinière Full 3D Seascape Experience was such a favourite, we’ve kept that for another few days too.

You can see the full menu here.

36 – Cry Your Eyes Out


Cry your eyes out as we proudly present a worldwide first this month: chips salted and seasoned with your own tears. Yes, you read that right. Your own tears.

It’s very simple: the salt in your tears provides a unique flavour and adds an unmatched piquancy to what are already (of course) brilliant thrice-cooked chips.

How does this work? Well I’m not going to give the game away entirely – as ever, you’ll have to come to the Sausage to get the full experience – but I’ll say this: first we deliver your dish to your table (Emu steak and chips for this special meal) and then you cry over them to add the flavour.

And should you need assistance to extract your tears, we are offering three different ways to help you. Again, I’m only giving limited information here how we do that but I can summarise as follows:

  • Beauty: for those of you where a particular image is enough to bring you to tears;
  • Emotions: a subtle whisper in the ear from one of our waiters and we promise you that will be enough;
  • Pain: don’t think too hard about this, but trust us, it works.

And if all that fails, we can also offer the Chill Approach: if you end up needing this then you’ll soon wish you had selected one of the above.

You’ve never tasted anything like this but you’ll cry out for more.

28 – The Unhealthiest Foods on the Planet: Seven Course Taster Menu


Eatthis.com recently published a list of the 50 most unhealthy foods on the planet – and for me, this was like a red rag to a bull. I just had to create a special menu from as many of them as possible. And the best way, I decided, was to create a 7 course taster menu.

So here for your delight and degustation is my limited-time only Unhealthiest Foods on the Planet: 7 Course Taster Menu. Dare you eat all 7 dishes?! (The numbers in brackets are where the foods appears on Eatthis’ list – I got in as many as I could!)

  1. Deep fried (#11) Chicken Nuggets (#4), battered in Sugary Cereal (#7) dried in liquid nitrogen
  2. Home-made Doritos (#24), Cheetos (#25) and Oreos (#26), with a selection of Smoked-Sausage dips
  3. White-flour (#40) breaded Tilefish (#2), marinated in Ice Tea (#1) with a Dyed Orange (#35) sauce and pickles (#49)
  4. Atlantic Salmon (#21) in a maple syrup (#20) sauce and Chips (#15)
  5. Chinese-inspired (#13) Meat balls made from processed (#10) bacon, sausage and turkey (#42), with tofu (#31) and a “mac and cheese” (#30) side
  6. Chocolate (#48) Muffins (#29) with Frozen Fruit Juice (#5) Smoothies (#18) and Dried Fruit Snacks (#47)
  7. Ice cream (#17) with crushed Candy (#6) and Microwaved Popcorn (#3)

Warning: This is not a menu for those trying to diet…

25 – March Menu


Our new menu for March is now being served. This includes two new starters: Raw Vegetable Salad (so raw you just go into our kitchen garden and pick some yourself) and Fake Foie Gras with Rose Tahini and Carob Molasses – flavour without the cruelty.

But the stars of this month’s menu are our three new main courses:

  • Hedgehog sans piqûres: sous-vide hedgehog, sweet corn puree, bacon popcorn and a red wine jus (no pricks will be served)
  • The Moules Marinière Full 3D Seascape Experience: Moules marinière with cream, garlic and parsley – and a seascape of sounds, smells and fresh sea breeze. Served with a large oilskin jacket – you’ll see why when you read the full details.
  • Poke: traditional Hawaiian cubed ahi tuna over seaweed, marinaded in soy sauce, green onion, avocado, mango, brazil nuts, sesame oil, ginger, sweet chillies, Japanese seasoning blends, with seasoned rice.

You can see the full menu here.

24 – The Moules Marinière Full 3D Seascape Experience


New to our menu this March – look out for a real interactive, 3D Dining Experience. At the heart of this dish is a classic moules marinière with cream, garlic and parsley, you absolutely can’t beat it. But I’ve always remembered times of my youth, eating mussels straight off the boat from a Normandy beach in winter and as such I’ve always felt that eating moules marinière at a comfortable restaurant table – albeit a damn good restaurant table – never quite gave you the same providence. Until now.

Because when we serve you our moules marinière it comes with a seascape of sounds, smells and fresh sea breeze.

The sounds are produced from a micro MP3 player and wireless headphones plugged into your ears – the cries of the seagulls, the crash of the waves, the blast of the horn from the returning fishing boats. Topped off with French fishermen’s finer language.

Additional smells are also pumped across your table: the smell of the seagulls, the saltiness of the waves, paving stones danced on by rain. Complemented by the aroma of French fishermen’s boat exhausts. I’m not saying it will make you sick but you’ll need a strong stomach. Think you can take it?

And the pièce de résistance: the wind machine and rain simulator. I don’t want to spoil this for you but let’s just say that you’ll need the oilskin jacket. You can even buy the jacket after as a souvenir after the meal (and a 10% discount if you mention this blog) if you want something to remind you forever of this unique dining experience.