38 – Chocolate Teacup

ChocTeaCupIt’s a simple premise: a teacup made completely of chocolate. So you eat the whole thing. Cup, handle, hot chocolate. And marshmallows.

An edible teacup. It’s a choctastic drink and dessert for chocoholics.

(But don’t try to eat the saucer, that’s real).

37 – April Menu


This month’s  menu sees two new Mains and two new Desserts, including a worldwide first:

  • Paint it Black: our homage to the Stones in the form of Blackened Snapper with Blackened Vegetables and squid ink jus. Black is indeed the new black.
  • Emu Steak with Your Tear-salted Chips: we can’t do justice to this hear so read about this in our separate post. You won’t see anything like this on any other menu anywhere in the world. So it would be a crying shame if you don’t try this.
  • African-imported Baobab Fruit Crumble: The nutritionists tells us baobab fruit provides increased energy levels, boosts the immune system, assists mental clarity and improves sleep patterns. We think it just tastes damn good with our crumble.
  • Baked Alaska Smoked Sausage Style: Don’t ask, just eat it.

And as last month’s Moules Marinière Full 3D Seascape Experience was such a favourite, we’ve kept that for another few days too.

You can see the full menu here.

28 – The Unhealthiest Foods on the Planet: Seven Course Taster Menu


Eatthis.com recently published a list of the 50 most unhealthy foods on the planet – and for me, this was like a red rag to a bull. I just had to create a special menu from as many of them as possible. And the best way, I decided, was to create a 7 course taster menu.

So here for your delight and degustation is my limited-time only Unhealthiest Foods on the Planet: 7 Course Taster Menu. Dare you eat all 7 dishes?! (The numbers in brackets are where the foods appears on Eatthis’ list – I got in as many as I could!)

  1. Deep fried (#11) Chicken Nuggets (#4), battered in Sugary Cereal (#7) dried in liquid nitrogen
  2. Home-made Doritos (#24), Cheetos (#25) and Oreos (#26), with a selection of Smoked-Sausage dips
  3. White-flour (#40) breaded Tilefish (#2), marinated in Ice Tea (#1) with a Dyed Orange (#35) sauce and pickles (#49)
  4. Atlantic Salmon (#21) in a maple syrup (#20) sauce and Chips (#15)
  5. Chinese-inspired (#13) Meat balls made from processed (#10) bacon, sausage and turkey (#42), with tofu (#31) and a “mac and cheese” (#30) side
  6. Chocolate (#48) Muffins (#29) with Frozen Fruit Juice (#5) Smoothies (#18) and Dried Fruit Snacks (#47)
  7. Ice cream (#17) with crushed Candy (#6) and Microwaved Popcorn (#3)

Warning: This is not a menu for those trying to diet…

23 – Banana Appeals


I’ve been experimenting recently with cooking a few things which most normal chefs would just discard. And one of my successes has been the banana peel. And next month will see one or two of my new inventions hit the Sausage menu.

It’s funny how popular this has been with some of my sous chefs and even my head waiter, Gordon. Not only have they embraced the concept of using up all the banana skins in new recipes, but they have even taken away some of the more stringy parts of the peel for “our own experiments” as Gordon explained to me. Certainly there has been a lot more laughter in the kitchen since they started. And a lot more smoking breaks. And some of the chefs who I am sure used to smoke cigarettes are now smoking roll-ups. Good for them, I say.

Some of this is what you can expect from our new menu now or over the coming months:

  • Banana peel curry. The peel is an amazing addition to a classic Indian curry, and adds a unique sweetness and texture.
  • Deep fried Banana Skins: sliced very thinly and with a secret selection of spices, and a ginger ice cream. Delicious.
  • Banana skin huts: I won’t tell you more yet – but they are something to behold.

I tell you, other chefs will be copying me in no time. Hashtag food trend.

20 – Valentine Day Menu Announced


We have announced our Valentine Day menu which you can see here. There is a choice of three starters and two main courses but our real show-stoppers are the “après-sex” deserts:

Post-coital Cigarette
White chocolate tunnel, gold leaf, ‘Lovers’ embossed on the side,
brought to your table and set light so it smokes

Chocolate Box
Quite literally, a 3″ square shallow box made of chocolate, with 4 compartments in it,
each with a variation of a chocolate heart in an edible wrapper

Cream Pie
Stuff your face

Enjoy you lovers, enjoy.

18 – New Menu for February

It’s the start of the month and so as usual we have a new menu. We don’t change everything on it, some of the old favourites remain (The British Rail Experience, Roast Roadkill and others) but we try to freshen it up every month as the seasons change.

This month, the new dishes include the following:

  • Appetisers: Deconstructed Soup and Pearl Necklace – the latter comes with seafood all over your plate.
  • Mains: Roast Dinner Puréeall the taste of a roast meal complete with vegetables & gravy
    but puréed into a drink (chicken, beef or pork); and The World’s Most Expensive Fish Fingers (I’ll be expanding on that in a later post).
  • Puddings: Simple Crème Brûlée (as I recently blogged about); and Apricot and Vanilla Sticky Fly Paper – this is a wafer thin sugar-wafer, twisted in long loops, with apricot and vanilla seasoning, and a few spots of nutmeg for the effect of reality.

You can see the whole menu here.

We’ve also got a special Valentine Day menu, which we will announcing soon. Definitely not to be missed for you lovers.