28 – The Unhealthiest Foods on the Planet: Seven Course Taster Menu


Eatthis.com recently published a list of the 50 most unhealthy foods on the planet – and for me, this was like a red rag to a bull. I just had to create a special menu from as many of them as possible. And the best way, I decided, was to create a 7 course taster menu.

So here for your delight and degustation is my limited-time only Unhealthiest Foods on the Planet: 7 Course Taster Menu. Dare you eat all 7 dishes?! (The numbers in brackets are where the foods appears on Eatthis’ list – I got in as many as I could!)

  1. Deep fried (#11) Chicken Nuggets (#4), battered in Sugary Cereal (#7) dried in liquid nitrogen
  2. Home-made Doritos (#24), Cheetos (#25) and Oreos (#26), with a selection of Smoked-Sausage dips
  3. White-flour (#40) breaded Tilefish (#2), marinated in Ice Tea (#1) with a Dyed Orange (#35) sauce and pickles (#49)
  4. Atlantic Salmon (#21) in a maple syrup (#20) sauce and Chips (#15)
  5. Chinese-inspired (#13) Meat balls made from processed (#10) bacon, sausage and turkey (#42), with tofu (#31) and a “mac and cheese” (#30) side
  6. Chocolate (#48) Muffins (#29) with Frozen Fruit Juice (#5) Smoothies (#18) and Dried Fruit Snacks (#47)
  7. Ice cream (#17) with crushed Candy (#6) and Microwaved Popcorn (#3)

Warning: This is not a menu for those trying to diet…

25 – March Menu


Our new menu for March is now being served. This includes two new starters: Raw Vegetable Salad (so raw you just go into our kitchen garden and pick some yourself) and Fake Foie Gras with Rose Tahini and Carob Molasses – flavour without the cruelty.

But the stars of this month’s menu are our three new main courses:

  • Hedgehog sans piqûres: sous-vide hedgehog, sweet corn puree, bacon popcorn and a red wine jus (no pricks will be served)
  • The Moules Marinière Full 3D Seascape Experience: Moules marinière with cream, garlic and parsley – and a seascape of sounds, smells and fresh sea breeze. Served with a large oilskin jacket – you’ll see why when you read the full details.
  • Poke: traditional Hawaiian cubed ahi tuna over seaweed, marinaded in soy sauce, green onion, avocado, mango, brazil nuts, sesame oil, ginger, sweet chillies, Japanese seasoning blends, with seasoned rice.

You can see the full menu here.

18 – New Menu for February

It’s the start of the month and so as usual we have a new menu. We don’t change everything on it, some of the old favourites remain (The British Rail Experience, Roast Roadkill and others) but we try to freshen it up every month as the seasons change.

This month, the new dishes include the following:

  • Appetisers: Deconstructed Soup and Pearl Necklace – the latter comes with seafood all over your plate.
  • Mains: Roast Dinner Puréeall the taste of a roast meal complete with vegetables & gravy
    but puréed into a drink (chicken, beef or pork); and The World’s Most Expensive Fish Fingers (I’ll be expanding on that in a later post).
  • Puddings: Simple Crème Brûlée (as I recently blogged about); and Apricot and Vanilla Sticky Fly Paper – this is a wafer thin sugar-wafer, twisted in long loops, with apricot and vanilla seasoning, and a few spots of nutmeg for the effect of reality.

You can see the whole menu here.

We’ve also got a special Valentine Day menu, which we will announcing soon. Definitely not to be missed for you lovers.

16 – Foraged Ant Legs


We sadly have to report that we have run out of ants legs; and we therefore cannot serve our ‘Foraged Ants Legs from the New Forest’ appetiser for the remainder of this season. We are looking to see if we can source them elsewhere but I am concerned they won’t have the same texture or distinct New Forest flavour. (Apparently you can get Danish Ants which noma in Copenhagen use, but, well, Danish ants? Really?)

It has been one of our most popular starters, but the recent snow must have sent the ants underground. Apparently ants do hibernate – who knew? – so although it appears it was warm enough to mean our supplier could keep foraging until recently, he now reports there are no more for the season.

(I do hope it is the weather and not the fact that we have just eaten so many that the New Forest ant has become an endangered species? Surely not. I mean, they can mate without legs can’t they?)

Not to worry – our February menu is just around the corner, with new dishes across all three courses. Watch this space!

4 -The British Rail Experience (UK Food Review)

Great news! The food critics from UK Food Review visited The Smoked Sausage and have written a gushing review of one of our more radical dishes, “The British Rail Experience”. Here it is in all its glory below.